I love to be alone because I find comfort in loneliness.

Because sometimes I feel so worthless. As though my presence make no difference. It's like no one will even notice if I'm gone.

So many things to do but here I am walking down the shores of ecp and thinkin about my screwed life. With no friends, with no laughter, with no meaning in life. It makes me wonder if I disappeared, won't it be better for me and everyone else.

I'm tired of waiting for people to care, because obviously no one ever does. All those who said such worthless words were lying. Those people who made me keep my hopes high, end up being the one who crushes this hope. "I'll be there for you" so, where are you when I needed you guys the most?

Lies, how can I actually be so damn gullible, falling for those lies again and again. Haven't I hurt enough to learn? I hate myself for being so weak, giving in everytime. Trusting then getting disappointed. I hate those who gave me false hopes, then pushing me down as soon as you're done with me.

If you weren't intending to stay, don't even enter my life. Because the one staying behind always hurts more-- having to see the back view of the guy, walking further and further away from me. Just for me to realise that I'm all alone.

Sometimes if I push you away, it actually meant for you to stay around me, to make sure I was alright, to lend me a listening ear, to borrow me your shoulder to lean against. You're supposed to stay by me, it just shows how much you actually care, proved my point that no it's not you.

People around me all getting together, being all so loveydovey because they have all smiles on them, they have someone to listen to them venting their anger, someone to just be there. How jealous I am, to see a couple ohsosweet together, and there I am, alone.

Ugh I get giddy from overthinking and the sea looked more welcoming then ever.