I love to be alone because I find comfort in loneliness.

I guess when you really fall ill, all you think about are regrets in your life.

Feeling so weak from all the vomiting, tummyache  and fever. Yet when i am down like that, i dont have anyone who cares. Sometimes i really wonder how would things change if i actually man up and pursue what i really wanted. Would i be the current me?

I visualise a future if i were to be honest, i see green, i see a calm and beautiful world. It is just that easy to achieve, yet im still being so stubborn and full of pride. What does that even give me in the end?

I can think of a million things that i would do differently if i could turn back time. Yet if you ask me how i would change for the future, i actually hesitate. I've screwed up my life so badly that i don't really know which part of it can i or should i salvage anymore. Pretty dumb i should say, but thats just ariel.

So tonight, i lie back and think again. Where would thinking even bring me to? I need actions, but i just lack the courage.

and i need to prepare my 6th letter soon..